You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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