Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
