what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
