I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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