I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
