When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
