she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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