i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize