How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
