While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
