3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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