Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
