how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I'm both gender and math confused
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
