Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
