last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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