I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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