I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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