we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
