i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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