Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
