And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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