After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize