He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize