what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
