My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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