i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
