The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
