somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
This is classic penis vs brain.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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