Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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