I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
