I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
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