either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
