Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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