Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
