omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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