Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I love you. Go after that dick
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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