i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
