Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
