six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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