nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
