ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You can't just leave with hair like that
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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