Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
