ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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