So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
