that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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