The police scanner is talking about you again....
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Just pee around me
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
