There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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