Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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