PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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