her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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