there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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