i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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