Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
