That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
he fucked my hip out of place.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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