i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
