New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
