theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I am one with the molecules
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
