tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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