i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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