Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
