ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
whose ass print is on the piano?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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