I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
